Big Green Tractor

Brodie's New Obession: "Big Green Tractor" by Jason Aldean.

I mean...it's pretty catchy.

While riding down the road its on repeat, turned up loud enough that we can't talk, and the windows down.

Life is good in these moments with my big boy.

My heart.

Regrets.

These days I have so many. So many regrets that my mind swarms with it. Somedays I feel like I'm drowning in them. If you would of told me a year ago that I would be here-I would of laughed. Things were so good-so I thought. Life has a way of letting me down...hopes get built up and then everything around me starts falling. I'm in the lowest valley in my life. Regret. Shame. Hurt. Failure. Self-Esteem. Fear. I feel like crying all the time. I feel like running and never stopping. 

But God....

God is helping me. He's slowly molding me. I'm using this for his glory. With all that's in me, I have hope and I put my trust in Him. 

I wake up each day quoting my favorite scripture. 

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

Brodie is my joy. He keeps me going and pushing through this season. Phillip is my rock. When he should be the one upset or down, he is constantly keeping a strong face and encouraging me. I love my family. Don't get my wrong-this Is a tough season-but I'm so grateful for my life.

My in-laws. Words can't express my gratitude. Ill post later about them.

 

Long nights.

My night=

-Phillip left to to coon hunting at 10ish.

-Brodie and I went to bed, put on Monkey Trouble and watches the whole movie then went to sleep.

-3:00am. Brodie wakes up. He wants to watch the Monkey movie.

-he goes back to bed around 6 am.

-We wake up at 9am.

I'm so tired!!

 

Days Go By.

Brodie B. slept until 12:30 pm today.

I slept until 11:30pm.

We NEVER sleep that way. I think he was tired from our busy weekend. I was TIRED from our busy weekend, too. 

Not only was it busy, it was extremely emotional.

Court was Friday for Uncle Tobby's case. I was trusting God, but I was so nervous too.  Everything went our way. We were there from 8am to 3pm.  We celebrated the rest of the afternoon.
In the same day Amanda & Jareb moved to Charlotte, NC. I was so sad I couldn't go with them to help them get settled into their new apartment.
Her story: Click HERE 

I'm so happy for them. I can't be selfish and want them here because they want to be there, but it sure is hard to see my little sister/best friend move 4 hours away.  I honestly don't know what I'm going to do .....well yes I do. I 'm going to visit as much as I possibly can. Good luck Amanda & Jareb. God has something great in store for the 2 of you.

THEN...I worked Saturday morning. I showed 6 houses to my buyers. Afterwards, me, Phillip, & Brodie went downtown and ate at Outback. It started raining so we went to the mall and let Brodie ride the carousel and the train. Later, we met Mama, Dustin, Uncle Tobby, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Debbie, Aunt Dale, Robin, Kristal, Kevin, Ken, Selina, & some of their friends at a Chinese restaurant and stayed there for hours catching up.

Sunday- My little brother Dustin moved to Atlanta to work and go to school. He got accepted into an Arts Academy and he will be working with David at Believers Church. I'm happy for him too, but really going to miss him. He's always my light when I need him.

We skipped church. Ate lunch with Mr. Ricky & Mrs. Tina at Fatz.

Afterwards, me and Phillip went to Sports Clips.
(Insert Funny Story)
Brodie & Phillip needed a haircut. Mel or Mandy cuts their hair but Phillip wanted one on Sunday.
We went and Phillip was getting his haircut. 
They called Brodie and I went with him. He grabbed on to me tight and said "NO haircut."  The lady cutting Phillip's hair told the girl to bring him by his daddy so we moved to the other side of the salon.  I tried sitting Brodie down and he started to cry. The lady looked at him & said "No, NO." That made me so mad I couldn't think straight. Before I could respond she looked at me and said "I don't like little boys that don't have fits." I was beyond mad at this point. I looked at her and said "Really? Well, obviously he doesn't like you and we don't need your services." I then turned around and looked at Phillip and said "By the way, your hair looks like a mushroom." I usually don't respond to stupidity, BUT it was my first experience with someone being rude to my child. Phillip couldn't hear me because the lady was buzzing his hair. He laughed so hard when I told him what I said. Needless to say, we will NEVER go to Sports Clips again.

Mom met us there and picked us up and we headed to Statesboro for Shelley's bridesmaid craft day. It was so much fun hanging out with my family.  Shelley's wedding is going to be gorgeous.  We got home around 7pm and Granny had cooked home made chicken and dumplings. We played and sat around and crawled into bed at about midnight.  

NOT GUILTY

Friday, August 16th.

Uncle Kevin: "Uncle Tobby"

I debated whether or not I wanted to publicly share this story. As for now, I'll leave it short and sweet.

An innocent man accused.
The innocent man proven NOT GUILTY.

Prayers were answered, our attorney rocked, & my Uncle Tobby is free from restraints.

He spent over a year of his life suffering for something he did not do.

Thank you, Jesus. We trusted in you. Faith has its rewards.

Brodie B.

The last time I blogged about Brodie was a few months ago. Reading back makes me sad because he has grown up SO much in these past few short months. It seems like each day adds something new. 

I wanted to put down some things that he does that I will always want to remember.

Wakes up now at about 9:30 am. He loves to sleep late. Gets it honest.

He goes to bed at about 11:00pm. He's a night owl. Again, gets that honest too.

Everything is about "monster trucks," "big trucks," & "tractors."

 

He is our big talker. He is talking, singing, counting, putting sentences together, & repeating EVERYTHING.
My favorite things he says: Ba-Nan-Na, I don't like it, Hush, I'm stuck, Big Fat Kiss...and on and on.

If you ask him, "Where do you want to go?" He says "Gammas house." When asked "Who do you love?" He says "Max!" He LOVES my mom. Sadly, he called her Ma until about a month ago and all of a sudden it was Gamma. We fell in love with Ma.

He's definitely got his Daddy's sense of direction. He can tell me how to get to my moms house and Cheyanne's school from home. He tells me by pointing his finger and yelling "That Way!"

He loves his Granny's cooking. When he sees her in the kitchen, he wants to "see NumNum." He thinks she is so funny.  He loves to go to her "fowa shop"<~flower shop. She keeps him for me there while I work.

G-pa is the coolest fella in the world. The fact that he crawls on the roof and fixes all kinds of Vroom Vrooms makes him Brodie's favorite person ever.  If you ask him "Where's Pa?" He say "On Roof"

When he sees my Dad, he throws up his hands & dances. He knows my dad is impatient and loves to test him.

We are trying to get this potty training down. He's doing okay....well I lied. He's not catching on....maybe I'm trying too soon.

Our afternoon consists of riding 4wheelers, fishing, go-carts, working on stuff, running around the yard...anything outside. After dinner, he gets the key and tells me. "Mama, I ride vroom vroom." & that we do. This is one of my favorite parts of the day with little man. No worries. No deadlines. Just me and him having fun and making memories.

Brodie saw his first movie this past Sunday. He's been as a baby and slept in the carrier but this was HIS first movie. We skipped church. We ate at a Japenese restaurant, went to the airport and watched planes take off and then went the movies and saw Planes in 3d. It went better than I thought.  Brodie doesn't watch much tv. He's too busy to sit still.  He picked out chocolate covered cookie dough bites and we got popcorn. He ate and ate and sat still through the first 30 minutes and then FELL ASLEEP!! I was so sad, but he woke up in time to catch the end and was happy about the movies.

Change is my middle name

I haven't blogged in awhile.

In fact, my blog is set to private-as though it doesn't even exist in the blogging world.  One day, when I'm ready...it will be public again.

& then in that moment I'll use my story as a testimony.

My Testimony. I can't even open up yet. I hope this helps me. It's helped me before. It seems to be a weird way...using a 3rd party...to tell my feelings.

As far now, I'm writing to remind myself that I'm blessed. Through the storm, I'm realizing other blessings. I'm going through the toughest time of my life but I love my family more than ever. I have a happy, healthy little boy and he keeps me pressing on.

My life has changed. It's completely changed. At first, it was hard to accept but now I'm living day by day appreciating each moment and each blessing that is given to me.

HOPE. Hope is a small word with big meaning. I've used it this year more than I ever have in my entire life. I believe in hope. Do you?

This blog has been a diary for me. I have a few followers...not so sure where they came from but I appreciate the few. I love looking back and remembering.

I stopped blogging. I had people stalking me. LITERALLY. They would read my life and then use it against me.

So, I'm blogging again. I'm writing down my life so I can look back and remember sweet moments. If you follow me, thank you. I hope you enjoy my life. This is private for now and I look forward to one day opening up my life again.