A Challenge.

I'm challenging myself in many different areas of my life right now. I'm dedicated to being a better me. It's my resolution for the year. In some areas I have succeeded and others I've failed so far. But I'm determined to be the best version of myself. I love to read. I love to read my bible but I'm guilty of not diving into my bible on a daily basis. I've made a personal commitment to change this. I made this commitment a few weeks back and I've seen a huge change in myself and my attitude. 

My favorite preacher got me thinking a few weeks ago as I listened to him preach. He said "If you make much of Jesus, he will make much of you." This hit me hard. What do I make of him? I want to be a light. I want to make a difference. I want to live my life with a purpose. I want to serve Him & serve others. This challenges me. But I am accepting the challenge. I want to make much of Jesus because not only do I want Him to make much of me but I want Him to make much of my family. 

I want to represent Christ so well that others would want to know him.  In order to make much of Him, I have to know His word better. 

We've struggled for the past two years with finding a church to attend. My heart felt a void and I'm slowing feeling like its being filled again. I love where God has placed us. I love the desire to be in His presence. 

I guess my point in all of this ramble is to say my heart is happy & God is good. :)

("If you make much of Jesus, he will make much of you." -David Thaxton)

Weekend Recap

We had a busy, busy weekend & it flew by!

Saturday: 

Pay pay discovered her toes. She just loves to watch them.

We went to the Parrish's house to celebrate Josh 12th birthday party. We were there all afternoon. Me, Brodie, & Pay hung out inside while Phillip played outside all day with the boys...yes, played. There were guns, bandanas, barriers, rules...the whole 9 yards. We had a blast.

Sunday:

We overslept and missed church. Cheyanne and Paisley rode with me on a route and Phillip and Brodie hung out with Pa. We ended the night meeting at Carey Hilliards then went home and watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before bed.

Crazy

I wanted to take a few minutes tonight to blog about my husband. My mama has always told me that women who go on and on about their husbands on Social media  are USUALLY covering up something bad. & she's right. Time after time I've seen it to be true. My point in all that is to say that this is not the case. I'm so thankful for him. They way he loves me and our children is genuine and pure. It shows in everything he does. He not only fathers our children but our goddaughter too and loves her so much. He always has my back and is my biggest cheerleader.  He lets me make my own decisions and I never have to request his permission for anything. He doesn't demand anything and shows me appreciation for things I do. He is really my best friend and I guess that's why I not only love him but like him so much!

Okay now to my highlight.

Monday. Our conversation.

Me: I need to spend more time with (a close friend).

Phillip: what do you mean?

Me: I just need to show that person I care more than I do. You know my resolution is to be a better me?

Phillip: Well, it doesn't get much better. You are an amazing person.

I love my crazy. He touched my heart and made me feel amazing. Anyone who knows him, knows he doesn't say things he doesn't mean.

Me & this man have seen some extremely high times and some extremely low times together. No matter what we've always stuck together and loved each other through it. I look forward to a long life together and I'm cherishing every single day that passes.

"Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself

Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms

There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast

Hope this feeling lasts, for the rest of my life."

Weekend Recap

So is it really Monday already?

This weekend flew by. We had a great weekend. 

Friday night, we met Mama & Dustin at Applebee's.  Dustin was leaving to head back to Atlanta the next day so we hung out with them. Afterwards, we went to Walmart to stock up for the week. We got home, watched Mickey and then went to bed.

Saturday, our friends Ashlee & Howard invited us over for Howards 25th birthday party. Brodie had so much fun with the kids that were there, Phillip and the guys played corn hole all day/night, and the girls chatted about babies, husbands, and probably too much gossip. It was a much needed day/night with some fun ladies. We got there at 1:3ois and left around 7:30 to head to Spanky's to celebrate Keith's birthday. We were until 10:30! It was nice day spent with good friends and Phillip's family.

Today/Sunday we went to church. We really enjoyed it. After church we ate lunch with some of our favorite friends, The Parrish's, at Cheddars. Brodie was a big boy and sat in a booth with Miranda, Josh, and Madison. After lunch, we did a few inspections and then headed home. We ended the night hanging out with the Parrish's by our fire pit eating pizza and making smores. 

It was a good weekend. I love when I have time off to enjoy the people I love.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last week I forgot to post about Brodie & Paisley's well check ups. Both are healthy as can be and I'm very thankful.

Brodie: 3.5 feet tall, 43 lbs

Paisley: 23 inces tall, 12 lbs 8 oz

Paisley had her first set of vaccinations. I was already a ball of nerves because of the controversy with vaccinations. I couldn't decide if it was what I wanted to do until the last minute. Phillip and I decided that it was best for our family to continue to vaccinate our children. As nervous as I was, I felt sure with my decision. After her shots, I picked her up and said a prayer asking God to not let her experience any negative side effects from the vaccination and to let it be nothing but for the good of her health. God answered my prayers because she ran no fever and was the same happy little girl as always. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to today:

The pastor at the church we attended talked about being consistent. He talked about  planting our feet somewhere and being consistent through the good and bad. I'm excited to plant our feet in a church and get back to doing what we are called to do. I think its so important for our children to see us be consistent. Consistent with everything. It truly does make a difference.

City of Light

City of Light.

Dear Kim,

Today you have been on my mind. All day. I wish you were here. I had a dream about you two nights ago and now I can't get you out of my mind. I literally see you everywhere. But, when I think of you, I smile. Yes, I still cry at times and get sad...I think I will for the rest of my life. You were my best friend ever since I can remember. We were lucky...we were born 4 months apart and stayed close until you passed. My whole life I can I remember you right by my side. So it's still hard to do things without you. So sometimes, I just have to write about you or talk about you or look through your pictures and it sort of satisfies my longing to see you or talk to you.   Today, I thought about one of my last memories of you. You and Shelley met me at Spanky's. I watched as Shelley paid for your meal. You weren't lacking anything, but she was treating you and I loved it.  We talked and laughed and it felt so good to get away from everything and just be with you two. No one could or never will make me laugh the way you did. And then we went to the movies to see Bridesmaids. We laughed and laughed. In fact, I think we laughed louder (especially me) than anyone in the room. I can remember the way you looked at me as you laughed at me laughing. That. was. a. good. day. I'm so thankful for all my memories with you. I still see you. I saw you yesterday as your Mama and Shelley sat on my couch and talked to me. I see you in everything. I guess it's because you are truly my angel. I love you & I can't wait to see you again.

"Well done my child, your race is over
You have fought the fight, and you’ve kept the faith
Enter in to the joy of the Lord.
Well done my child, you crown is waiting.
Here is your robe of white, your mansion is just inside.
Come in to the city of the light, well done my child…"

My view.

My view as I begin to blog. I'm laying in bed at noon with this little girl laid against my knees. She's content as usual. I hear Brodie destroying my living room with all of his toys. This is a typical Monday for us. I will eventually get up, throw on some clothes and go do my inspections that are due for the day. I think I have one today. I love days like this.

Stupid Questions. Babies. People

Wow, its day two and I'm on my laptop (very rare) blogging.

 

This is random, but these are my thoughts for the night.

 

Stupid Questions. Babies. People.

 

People are OBSESSED with baby talk. It honestly drives me nuts. Am I the only one? Well, I guess that's a dumb question because I'm one of four and we are all oddly alike in a way that we recognize stupid questions and stupid people instantly and then we strive to never be like those stupid people. I hope that made sense. At least I know my sister will understand...I think she is the only one that reads this.  What I mean by all of that is these baby questions. "When are you going to have a baby?" "Are you going to have more?" "How many children are you going to have?"

AS SOON as I said "I do" to Phillip begin asking me about having a baby. I would kindly respond "we want to have one right away." We had dated for years so we wanted to begin our family right away. Well... a few months passed and no luck. Suddenly, the question about a baby would stab me in the heart BUT I would kindly answer "we are ready."  Don't people realize that there are women and men in this world that cannot have children?? And that this could be the most sensitive question that you could ask a woman. People, please stop asking this question. I NEVER ask this question. I know from experience the torture it can bring. Am I aware because of my experience? Maybe, that's why. I know that people mean well...I really do.  

& then....as soon as Brodie arrived...."Do you want more?" Well, gosh lady let me enjoy this one for a bit and then I'll decide. It drives me insane!! It took me two years to get pregnant with Paisley after having Brodie. I began to think and accept that Gods plan for me was to have one child. Deep down I wasn't okay with that. I would have high hopes and then a disappoint every month. It is the worst feeling ever. I hated the question "When are you going to have another?" Or worse...the statement "Its about time for another one!" And now, Paisley is here and I get the questions ALL the time. If I'm not getting asked if I want more I'm getting told that I shouldn't have more.  Seriously. I think EVERYONE has the ability and right to make that choice on their own.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind advice from the wise but that's all it is...advice. I'm not letting your advice control my ultimate decision. For me...I'm not quite sure if Paisley is my last child. Someday, yes and some days no. Part of me feels like I want one more and the other part is saying I'm done. Phillip and I will decide. For now, I am enjoying my sweet newborn, my rowdy toddler, & my teenage goddaughter.

 

Another question that I get a lot...that I don't mind is "How is it with two?" I can honestly say that it has been the EASIEST adjustment. Paisley is the ideal baby. I thank God daily for her sweet spirit. She sleeps through the night and we rarely hear her cry. She is a happy girl which makes a happy mama. Brodie has took on the big brother role without much jealousy. There was ONE day that I thought he may give me a hard time, but that's all it was...one day of chaos.  I guess with baby #2 I feel more experienced and sure of myself as a mother. I say it all the time, because I'm always asked...If I could guarantee that my next baby would be like Paisley and Brodie would adjust the exact same way that I would definitely have one more. BUT, there are no guarantees and I guess that's the risks we take in life.

 

 

About today:

Today was a typical Beasley Friday. Daddy went to work and we slept in. We got up, got ready, grabbed lunch, and did a 2 hour route. Paisley slept the whole time and Brodie watched Batman on his tv. When we got home I cleaned the kitchen while Brodie played and Paisley slept in her swing. We ended our night at Miwa with Mama & Daddy.

 

Brodie's funny of the day:

Me: "Brodie, do you want an icecream?"

Brodie: "Nope"

Me: "Why?"

Brodie: "Well, Mama...Icecream is really cold."

 

That little boy keeps me laughing.

The house is quiet without Cheyanne home. She is spending the night with her friend, Madison.

 

Goodnight!

 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

 

I am so excited to start 2015.

I am the type person that likes to start my goals on a Monday so I'm all for setting resolutions at the beginning of a new year.

 

 

As I start the year, I can't help but to reflect back on 2014. The best word to describe it for me is bittersweet. Growth is another word to describe it. My favorite part of 2014 was welcoming Paisley Monroe. We found out March 6th that we were pregnant with her and I gave birth 10/29/14.  She has been the perfect addition to our family. We lived with my in laws at the beginning of the year until May. It was the best thing that ever happened to us during our last two years of losing our business and failing miserably.  It gave us a chance to breathe for awhile. 2013/2014 was a time in my life financially that I never want to revisit. It was also a time of hurt, shame, & embarrassment. Failing is tough and when people are involved, its even harder. I'm just thankful for kind people and 2nd chances. It definitely made me realize that you never know what someone is facing and to be nice to everyone.  The people that were kind to me during that season mean more to mean than they will ever know.  The other hardship was losing my Aunt Glenda. I could go on and on about this. My family was very close to her and her small children. She lost her battle with cancer.   The hardest part has been losing contact with Kaleb & Kayla. Brodie asks about them daily. I hope that this year will bring an opportunity to reconnect with them. But all in all, 2014 was a year that I will always remember. I'll always remember the way my husband encouraged me, loved me and supported me, the way Brodie stayed right underneath me and taught me the strongest form of love, the way my mama handled the hardest time of her life and still helped me through mine, the way my sister showed up and showed out for all of my events, parties, delivery...you name it she was there and with hours worth of work,  my mother in law cooking dinner for us every night and taking care of my family, the way my father in law made me feel like his home was mine, the way it felt to move into our own home again thanks to the McNamees, the way it felt to have my Dad move in with me and be free from addiction, the excitement of my brothers visiting, being proud of Dustin for doing exactly what he loves in a big way, the way Cheyanne coped with family changes and moving to a new school, and the way it felt to watch my sweet Brodie hold his beautiful sister for the first time. I am so thankful as we end 2014.  

 

My resolutions for 2015.

1. Grow my relationship with God.

2. Read my bible daily.

3. Pray with my children daily.

4. Get involved in a church.

5. Be a better wife.

6. Be a better mother.

7. Be a better friend.

8. Make healthier choice for myself and my family. With that, lose weight!

9. Wake up earlier.

10. Go to bed earlier.

11. Pay off some debt.

12. Save $

13. Blog Everyday & catch up on past events from last year: My showers, Paisley's birth, Christmas, etc.