Meet Pilot

 A few months ago, Brodie asked David & I if we could get him a dog that could be his responsibility.  Brodie is semi responsible so we considered it but we didn't give it much thought.  I figured it was a phase and I wanted to make sure he kept asking about it. He did-all the time.  So, randomly his friend next door asked if we wanted a dog. His sister wasn't able to keep him.  He sent a picture over and I told Brodie to talk to Mr. David about it. We found out it was a cocker spaniel + pit bull mix.  David has always wanted a pit bull so he was all in.   A friend of ours and my brother in law suggested if we get it to name him Pilot because of his breed *cockpit.  We decided with Brodie asking and this puppy needing a home that it was meant to be. We picked him up and I instantly knew we made the right choice. He is so sweet and loves to run and chase the kids. He's the perfect addition to our circus. 

Now, that was a break! Welcome back

Hey y'all!! Welcome back to my little spot on the internet!

I haven't blogged in 5.5 years!! 

A few months ago, I stumbled across this blog via Facebook memories right before I was about to go to sleep.  I forgot all about it and didn't even realize it was still on the internet.  I laid in my bed laughing, smiling and crying as I read my posts. It made me wish that I had kept it going.  I decided that I would start a new one so we had a diary to go back and revisit memories.

I bought a domain, registered with Wordpress because Google said it was the best and bought a theme and all. I started trying to learn the platform and even made a few posts. BUT, I kept coming back to this blog. It didn't feel right leaving it and starting new.  Brodie, Paisley and River deserved to read these older post.  Luckily, I found the email and password and was able to get back in. After some updating, I'm back! 

A LOT has changed since my last post in 2016 but I will be leaving every post as it was.  

My dads death, Divorce, Remarried, New baby.

  I love that the kids can go back and read about our life before all of the change. 

I'll be sharing about all the things that set my heart on fire!

Joy comes in the morning

Joy. This word. So powerful. It has been on my heart these past few days. For a few reasons.

This time of the year when leaves begin to fall and the air becomes cool, I find myself just...joyful.

And, a few situations/stories that have inspired the word joy these past few days. It has somewhat consumed my thoughts. When that happens, I know what needs to happen.  I need to let it out. I don't know who reads it, but its therapeutic in so many ways. It always comes out a bit chaotic and a bit all over the place, but it has to come out.

Story #1. A girl I love but not very close to posted a status on Facebook. It pretty much stated how miserable she was and how she was fighting to hide it. 

She needs joy...

Story #2: My husband has had major back problems for about a year now.  Appointments, Chiropractors, epidurals, injections, ER visits, pain pills, out of work, back to work, surgery, physical therapy,  back to work, car accident, out of work...then watching God put his hand over our family.

I still have joy...

Story #3: Watching Cheyanne grasp that "everything works out."

Joy comes in the morning.

Story #4: Brodie told me why he wakes up happy every morning today.

PURE joy...

Joy.

I can remember as a teenager: broken, lost and full of sin. God sent me to Monterey Park Church of God. I was saved, set free, and changed forever. The pastor, Eddie Tomberlin, was unlike any other Pastor I had ever known. He was full of life and faith and taught me about a God who loved me and surrounded me with grace. I can remember him praying prayers of faith, love, goodness, mercy, favor...over my life. One prayer has stuck with me to this to this day more than any of them and that is "to let the joy of the Lord be my strength." I learned about speaking life and I learned that through Christ is where I find my joy. Pure joy. Not a temporary happiness. But a deep deep joy that floods my soul.  

Joy can be simple for me. I find it in worldly things like:

Going to the movies

Sitting on the beach 

Getting lost in a good book

Starbucks

A surprise Kate Spade sale

Old Navy

Chick Fil A Diet Lemonade

An unexpected Amazon box with my name on it because my husband thought I would like it

Currently: This Is Us.

Or even deeper things like:

Smelling a certain detergent and thinking about my Grandma 

Childhood Memories
All of my children cuddled in my bed

Seeing a picture and remembering exactly how I felt in the moment

Traditions

Celebrating people I love

Holidays

Even Deeper:

The way my husband loves me and the way I love him.

Watching him work hard to allow me to be a stay at home mom

My children. Joy. Joy. Joy. Joy.

Brodie's love of God

Paisley's spirit

River's Sweetness

Cheyanne's heart
The way Phillip loves/father our children
Hugging my children until they let go
Dancing with Pay when she grabs my hand

Sitting in a room with all of my brothers and sisters

The security of a loving mother who is always there

 A sister who knows me better than I do

Brothers who pray

A father who doesn't give up

A sister in law as loyal as they come

A mother in law who serves like no other and teaches me so many things

A Pa who cries when his Grandkids enter the room

A nephew who is perfect

Mandy. My friend who is there in every season no matter what.

Friends who have become my family

My Uncle Tobby

My aunt Nancy and her girls

Family in general

I could go on and on.

But even deeper: 

my Savior, my King who is Alive and is coming back for me....and You.

Jesus Christ who lives in my heart. 

Yahweh. Lord.
Watching & feeling his presence enter a room
Serving Him
Giving 
Worshipping

He speaks to me.

I can feel him.

He's forgiving always

He is merciful

He answers prayers

He is my strength

What joy it is to have a promised eternity.

Let the joy of the Lord be your strength.

Story 1: I related to this status on Facebook and it brought me back to a time in my own life.  The Lord has blessed me. But my life is not perfect. A few years back, I lost my cousin Kim. She was my best friend. My person. Someone I talked to everyday. I felt lost without her. In the same year our business failed and it was a living nightmare. I wanted to hide under a rock and not show my face. We went through a season where we lost everything we owned. We basically lost everything but each other and our faith. I look back now and know that God had his hand on me because in the same year, he gave me Brodie. My joy. My gift. My motivator. My promise. I found joy in the hard time. I set my mind on Him and I fought with prayer and belief that it would end. He also gave me the gift of a faithful, strong husband. Phillip would know just what to say to affirm me. He knew when I just need a silent hug.   My point of being so transparent about my life is to tell you that the Lord is good. He's good in the bad and he's good in the good. He is our hope. Find your joy. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. Set your eyes on the end goal and press toward it. Pray. Pray. Pray. Wake up praying and go to bed praying. Find a song or a quote or a scripture-memorize it and quote it when you feel sad, mad or hopeless.  A song that I grew to love and sang over and over each day was "You never let go of me." Brodie even knew it. 

And I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Fave scripture: 

 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 

because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 

 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1: 2-4

Story 2: Pain. Physical pain. Its exhausting. It causes mental pain as well.  Watching my husband suffer has been painful for me in so many ways. Watching him mourn his ability to run and play with the kids or pick them up was a stab in my heart. My once strong husband was weak. This is where my faith has been tested the most. Through this season I told Phillip that I had lost my faith. Yet, joy still found a way to fill my heart. I had hope. I wanted to prove myself wrong. I prayed even when I felt like I couldn't believe. And God is healing my husband. It hasn't been in my timing but his timing is perfect. It really is. Watching him run and play with our kids has a whole new meaning. Joy. I would love to pray for you if you are suffering in pain. I watched it almost knock down one of the strongest men I know and I know the affect of it. I promise I will stand in the gap for you.
My song through this season has been "For a Moment." 

And I know, it's only for a moment
And everything is working for your glory
But I need, your perfect love to hold me
Safe within your promise
Til the storm has passed

Story #3: My Cheyanne. Her life. Its been filled with so much grief at such a young age. It has also been filled with a whole lot of joy.  I do my absolute best with her. She is close as it comes to being one of my own.  She's had to go through many obstacles at a young age so its led us to many girl talks and encouragement. This past year was probably her roughest ones yet. I could see her losing confidence in herself. Phillip and I made it our priority to do what we could to get her out of this "slump." Prayers were answered and everything worked out the way we hoped/planned. I know thats vague but its her story to tell. All in all her Heavenly Father has been everything she needs in her life.The other day we were sitting at a drive thru and we were talking about how the impossible seemed to work out just the way she wanted. I looked at her said "Everything always works out, right?" She looked at me with the biggest smile and said "It really does."  Joy.  
If you have an obstacle in your life, remember that the bible says that everything is working out for the good of those who love him. It doesn't necessarily say for what we think is good. God has our backs. He's behind the scenes working it out. Have faith in that. Have JOY in that. That kind of faith. That kind of joy is unwavering. 

Story #4. This is my favorite. Joy for me is joy in the ones I love. 

Especially my children.

The best advice I received when I was pregnant was of course from my mom. She said 

"Ashley, your children will sense your emotions. If you are uptight, they will be. If you are sad, they will be. If you are calm, they will be."

Remember this. 

It has proven itself true over and over. 

The joy that I carry carries on to the ones around me.

For example: 

If Brodie is rushed, its over. He likes to have plenty of time.

I noticed that if I wake up late and rush him for school, his day starts off rough.

I've learned through this to find joy in my route.

I make sure I'm up in the morning to give Brodie plenty of time to get ready.

I wake him up by rubbing his back and talking to him. I've learned that taking the time to make sure he isnt rushed is how to create a joyful morning. I start by telling him a story. It can be anything really. At the beginning, he is still laying on his stomach with his eyes closed.  Through the middle, I can see his eyes start to open and by the end he is fully awake engaged in the story. Like this morning I told him about how his elf would be coming back soon. Nothing major just something to talk about it to motivate him to wake up. Then I give him a big hug and get him up. Then its routine-
My favorite part of our routine is right before he leaves.
I'll say "What does mama always tell you?"
He says
"Always be Kind. Always do the right thing. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and love."
Joy.

And then I grab his hands aand we close our eyes and I pray over him every. single. morning. 

I thank God for him, I ask God to be with him and to protect him. 

Today, he kissed me goodbye. When he did he said "thank you for being my mama. You make me happy."

Joy.

When he leaves, I make a cup of coffee. I sit in quiet and read my bible and devotional. I feel the presence of God surround me and it starts my day.

I can tell a huge difference in my day when I don't take the time to pray. My mood is easily changed. 

I know I've said a lot here. I always do. 

Belive me, I'm nowhere near perfect. I fail daily. The other day I told my mom that somedays I feel like I've got it all together and others I feel like everything is shattering around me. But I know what's most important and that is to teach my kids to remain faithful. To let the joy of the Lord be their strength. Through it all....I still have joy.

I want to encourage you to allow God to enter your heart and be your joy. Find joy in Him. Find joy in your life. No matter your circumstances, you have a promise for an eternal life. There is so much hope in Jesus Christ. 

I'd love to pray for you. 
send me a message. 

 
 

 
 

 

Kindness

So, my blogging silence has finally ended. I've missed it terribly. I let so much time go by that I didn't document. For example, River is here and almost 6 months old. His birth story is coming up soon.

And we have a new president. Old news, yep. But still the topic of choice. I've seen a whole lot of posts about it. Some are the typical "Praise God, he won" and others "What the hell happened?" Excuse the language. Thats just what I've been seeing. 

I was taught to be confident in any decision I make. To not follow but to lead. To research on my own and be well educated. And thats what I do. I don't see the point in bullying someone by my opinion. I know what it is, I know which way I'm going, you will never stray me and I'm not going to try to stray you. But anyways....I wanted to document a story. Something I want to always remember.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the park after I picked up Brodie from school. It was just us and a little girl with what appeared to be her older brother.

Paisley got on a swing and Brodie ran right to the slide. The little girl screamed, "you can't play here!"  I watched Brodie go to the other side without saying a word. He started playing in the dirt near the slide and he watched the little girl closely. Then, he asked her "Do you want to play with me?" She yelled "No!" He said "Okay, you can if you want." 

I'm not going to lie, anger was rising up in my heart. I could see the hurt on Brodie's face because he is sensitive. But he pretended to not let it show to the little girl. 

After about 10 minutes, I noticed the little girl warming up. Then she asked, "Do you want to slide with me?"  Brodie's face lit up and he slid down the slide. 

When we got in the car, I said "Brodie, why did you let that little girl tell you what to do?" I said "you don't have to be mean back but you can stick up for yourself and say I can play too." Brodie looked at me and said....

"Mama, that little girl might not know what it is to be kind. Her mama might not of told her. So, I wanted to show her. Do you think I showed her?"

"Yes, Brodie. You sure did."

We are raising the next generation.   Parents, rise above and be examples to your children. Show them love, patience, strength, joy, and kindness. Bear good fruits so that they can too. They learn from you. Choose your words around them wisely. Choose your actions around them even more wisely.  We can be the change that this world needs. 

 

BB & Pay Pay

"Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Cor. 11:1

When I look at this picture, my heart melts. First off, I love these two little ones more than words can describe. Second, I love the bond that they share. But even more than all that, I personally know the love that they share and I'm so thankful that I was able to give them the greatest gift: each other. I think about my brothers and my sister and the bond that we all share. I don't know if it's the life experiences we lived together or the parents we have, but we were taught to love each other. And we do. We are each other's biggest fans and cheerleaders. We support and encourage and we're honest. I pray that Brodie, Paisley, & River will have the same bond I share with my siblings. I know it's special and I'll never take it for granted.  This picture reminded me of how blessed I am. I believe that character is taught by example and I think my Brodie B has caught on quite nicely. He loves his "Pay Pay."

Easter-He is Risen.

Easter 2016

Go big or go home, right? Haha. That is a motto that me, my mom, & my sister accidentally live by. We try to "do it simple" but it just doesn't fit us.  I feel like Easter this year for us has been just that though, simple yet big. We've had too much fun and got in all of our yearly traditions and added a few too.

Phillip and I helped plan a Easter Egg Hunt at IWC.  The rain threw us a few last minute changes and set backs but it turned out pretty good. I let the perfectionist in me remain calm and did the best we could with what we had. The Easter bunny showed up, we had a nice inflatable slide, face painting, free food, and a ton of eggs to hunt. I looked around and saw all the kids having fun and that's what mattered the most. 

Brodie had his school party. We went and helped him hunt his eggs. The bunny was there, too.

Speaking of the bunny, Paisley is not a fan. She puts her pointer out and says "NO NO!"

We went to the mall and rode the train and saw the bunny with good friends.

We went to other egg hunts, we dyed eggs, but most importantly we talked about our resurrected King. 

Easter morning, my babies were excited to see that the bunny had hopped to our house. I collect over time and so does my mother in law so when we pulled everything out, we just laughed. It looked more like Santa stopped by...but oh well!

http://youtu.be/7ZRIc5fUImY

We went to the City Church to hear my brother preach and to be with our family. It was much needed and it felt so nice to sit back and "enjoy the show" as Brodie told me I needed to do. 

After service, we had lunch and hunted eggs with friends and family. 

We ended Easter having a dance party in the living room and passing out from exhaustion of all our Easter festivities. 

http://youtu.be/vlkSZa1zaJw

Life is so much fun with my little crew.